are you nice to you?

What have you told yourself about who you are today?

I don’t know about you, but when I pause to think about what I “speak” over myself on a regular basis, I cringe at the harshness. I am not talking about audible words, although those can also be just as degrading. I am talking about the conversations we have with ourselves in our minds.

You always do that, what is wrong with you?
This is not a good color on you.
You are not very good at ______.
They probably don’t like you.
You weigh too much.
That was a horrible way to _____. _____ would have never done it that way.
You are nowhere near as good at _____ as she is.

We can be pretty mean to ourselves.

Personally, I am quick to remind myself of flaws and beat myself up for things I have done. I repeat my shortcomings, mistakes and insecurities. I tell myself that others think negatively of me, and point out why it’s warranted. I imagine you know what it feels like to do the same.

The things I say to myself are not things I would want to say to someone else. Why? Because they would tear people down. They are discouraging. No - it is my heart’s desire to show others the love, grace, kindness and encouragement that comes from Jesus.

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But do I really understand His heart towards other people if I don’t accept it and mirror it to myself?

The Bible tells us that our tongues have the power of life and death, and it also defines our identity. We typically view this verse through a lens of how to treat other people, but it applies to how we talk to ourselves just as much. I believe that a lot of insecurity can be tackled by claiming the reality of who we are in Jesus.

Jesus says…

Your identity is in Him, not in mistakes you make or struggles you face.
You are beautiful.
You are forgiven.
You are good enough.
You are perfectly and wonderfully made, on purpose for a purpose by the Creator of the universe.
You are gifted.
You are chosen.
You are valuable.

What would life look like if we stopped speaking death over ourselves and chose to speak life? It doesn’t mean our feelings have to agree. It doesn’t mean our actions are deserving of the words.

What we say to ourselves - and about ourselves - should align with what Jesus thinks about us. After all, the One who created us is logically the only one who can define our identity.

It might seem like self-talk isn’t as powerful because it’s in our minds - but that’s exactly why it’s so powerful. When it’s negative, it is poison straight into the bloodstream. When it’s positive, it’s medicine for the soul.

Speak life over yourself today, friend. You are worth it.

A Few Ways To Make A Habit Of Being Nice To Yourself:

• Write out lists of truth about who Jesus says you are.
• Set reminders in your phone that pop up daily with encouraging truth about yourself.
• Claim truth over yourself out loud. It might feel silly at first, but it is so powerful.
• Shoot a text to a friend or mentor when you are beating yourself up so they can help you call out lies from the enemy and replace it with truth.

Becca Garvin 

Becca was born and raised in the South. She is the oldest of four girls and loves her two "fur children" (70-pound dogs) very much. Becca is a blogger and a writer for various professional and nonprofit organizations, including NewSpring Church. She is also an Executive Search Consultant and serves as a Youth Ministry small group leader. You can connect with Becca on her blog or on Instagram.