Your highest calling in life is not marriage or motherhood. God may indeed have called you to these things, but they are not your highest calling.

My friend Kat Armstrong, in her book No More Holding Back, says, “Dethroning the idols of Christian marriage and motherhood does not in any way devalue the institution of marriage or family. It elevates God to his unrivaled throne.” We have done a disservice to many women in our churches by making them feel, either by our words or our actions, that marriage and motherhood are the ultimate indicators of godliness. I see many women today throwing away the passions and talents that God has given them because they’ve bought the lie that the ONLY thing they’re good for is being a wife and a mom.

Now don’t hear me saying marriage and motherhood are not high callings. They are. They’re wonderful. I’m beyond grateful for my own marriage and family. But let’s think for a second. If we elevate marriage and motherhood to the preeminent calling on EVERY woman, where does that leave the women in your lives who are not wives or mothers?

It’s just not true. It will never be true. If you’re a woman reading this, you need to know that God has called you to big things even if you’re not a mom or a wife. Neither one of those things is a woman’s universal qualification for changing the world, doing ministry, or glorifying God with her life. I am both of these things, both a wife and a mom, and I’m terrifically proud of it. But I can say without hesitation that my highest calling in life was not found when I said “I do” to Aaron or pushed out my first child.

Big calling? Yes.

The biggest? No.

The biggest call on our lives is to know God and make Him known. Married or not. Kids or not.

Let me turn it around for you though, if you’re a mom who’s reading this and you think the doing of “big things” automatically leaves you out of the running, seeing that God has called you during this season of life to devote the majority of your hours to your kids. The message is not that one is better. Being where God wants you is always best. Your ministry, your gifts, and the way God plans on using you do not start, OR END, with marriage or motherhood.

Okay, I’m off my soapbox now.

Thank you. I do feel better.

But I still know discerning your calling is something that may be keeping you up at night with worry and impatience, wondering if you might have missed it, wondering if you can even hear God for it. I was a grown woman who waded through all those fears, so I have a feeling you may be experiencing this same kind of thing right now, or you’ve experienced it in the past, or you’ll experience it again soon.

Do you want to know my entire goal for you?

I want you to do what God has equipped you to do
with the passions and talents He’s put inside you.

I want you to show up for your life. I want you to believe and trust that He has good things for you, and that He wants to use you to do big things right where you are. I want you convinced that you’ll make the greatest impact on your world when you allow Him to work through you right where He’s planted you.

I want you to be you.

Living your calling.

Which simply means being faithful. Not being super smart. Not being a spiritual giant. Not always knowing the answer to every question or feeling completely in control of every situation.

Just faithful. To Him. Where you are. With what you know.




Jamie Ivey is a podcaster, author, and speaker from Austin, Texas. She believes stories change the world and reveals this through her popular podcast, The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey. Her newest book “You Be You: Why Satisfaction and Success Are Closer Than You Think”, Jamie insists that living faithfully in the here and now is the key to an abundant life. Connecting with Jamie is easy, @jamievey on Instagram and Facebook, or visit www.jamieivey.com for more.