I’m not good enough.
It’s a phrase I’ve played in my mind thousands of times since I was a child. It’s been my Achilles heel. And for so long, I’ve tirelessly toiled away to prove these words aren’t true about me. That I am good enough.
But all the striving in the world has left me exhausted. Left me worn out and broken down. No matter how hard I have worked to be a good-enough wife, mom, pastor, and friend, I have often come up short. Then a shift took place when I was feeling particularly defeated. A few months ago, I heard the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit speak into my weary heart something I never expected to hear:
“What if you aren’t good enough?”
I quickly reacted and thought, Surely you don’t mean that?! Women are told time and again that we are good enough and we should fight any lie that says otherwise. But if I’m honest, there is some truth to this phrase. Because you know what?
I’m not good enough. [GASP!]
Truth is, grace is a gift. We are undeserving and it’s this awareness that makes the Gospel so much sweeter. You and I haven’t earned any good gift and yet the Father chooses to lavish us with them anyway. We aren’t deserving of salvation. We also haven’t earned daily mercy, provision for our needs, or the precious memories we’ve collected with loved ones.
Neither of us are good enough to be a child of God. But He chooses us. If you’re a mom and wife, you won’t be able to be everything your family needs. Neither are you capable in your own strength to reach your potential as you lead, care for, or inspire others. But God equips you to be His vessel. God uses you in spite of your weaknesses and empowers you where you don’t measure up.
In 2 Corinthians 10-12, Paul spoke of his weaknesses. He had plenty of accomplishments to boast about but he decided he’d rather talk about his failings for the sake of Christ.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV)
Here’s the truth we often resist: weakness is an avenue for God’s power to be made perfect. When you attempt to tackle life in your own strength, you’re essentially saying you don’t need help. That you don’t need Him. Yet, when you admit you do have weaknesses and—instead of fighting them—lean into them, His power floods into any gaps you have.
And when that happens, God gets the glory.
Instead of fighting and striving for worth, what if you simply leaned into your weaknesses a bit more? Certainly, give your all and do your creative best with what has been given to you. However, stop toiling away and depleting your energy when God has all the power you could ever need.
The next time you feel like you aren’t measuring up at home, work, or in ministry, stop and pray. Invite the Holy Spirit to empower you to be a Spirit-filled mom, wife, friend, leader, and employee. When you realize that your weaknesses are actually beautiful places for God to shine, you’ll take a deep breath and let go of the expectations. You’ll rest in His provision. And next time you hear the words whispering to your weary heart, “You’re not good enough,” you’ll be able to say, “You’re right, I’m not, but my God is and when I’m weak, then I’m strong by His power.”
Can I get an AMEN!?
Brittany Rust has a passion to give encouragement to the world-weary believer through her writing, speaking and podcasting. She is the author of Here I Am and Untouchable, founder of For the Mama Heart, and host of the Epic Fails podcast. Brittany lives with her husband, Ryan, and son, Roman, in Castle Rock, Colorado. Connect with her via Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram or learn more at www.brittanyrust.com.