the small spaces matter

You could not convince me that I was not a child prodigy growing up. By the time I was ten years old, I had at least three full cassette tapes worth of songs I wrote on my own. By age twelve, I had a designer line drawn out -  with accessories included. (Doc Martens and clear plastic coats may have been in the line.) I was also a proficient speaker to thousands. Just ask all 12 of my stuffed animals and the other 988 imaginary friends. I knew I was bound for greatness at a young age. It was only a matter of time before this greatness was discovered. And by time, I meant any day.

Fast forward to my young twenties, and I was not quite changing the world. In fact, I was barely experiencing the world I lived in. Reality looked more like I was dying a slow death at a desk job, and I would have rather napped at than answer one more email. I thought I was destined for greatness, yet it felt like I was confined and doomed to the four walls I lived in.

At twenty-five, it was time to finally change the world and find my soul’s destiny in New York City. I got accepted into and excelled at my dream school – Parsons School of Design. Yet, after school, no one in the universe seemed to be privy that I was a prodigy waiting to happen.

I entered the fashion world working in retail to make ends meet, while being overworked in an unpaid internship from hell. With my dreams deflated once again, I found myself at the crossroads of wanting to change the world and feeling shortchanged.

There were so many moments when I felt like the life I bought into was a lemon. I thought, if I was meant to be average, why did I have a desire to make a big difference in the world? There was a constant tension between trying to be satisfied where I was at and still desiring to do great things. I have felt lost on many occasions in my life (mainly while driving), but never more lost than in that tension of in-between. You know - those moments that feel seemingly aimless, small or mundane.

Here’s the hard truth, we aren’t excluded from greatness. We are just seeds comparing ourselves to the oak trees we will become. A seed’s entire potential is packed in the smallest of forms. In fact, it cracks, breaks, and reforms constantly to become its destiny.

You can’t really say what day or time a seedling became a tree. It wasn’t one sudden moment. It was a million small moments. Is a tree less on purpose when it’s small? Is it less in its purpose in the winter with no leaves versus the days it’s in full bloom? I’d venture to say, no. Just the same, approaching the seed spaces; the moments that feel small, undefined, or broken are not short-changing us. They are purpose-filled, growing us into the greatness we were born to become.

Even when you are in a space that may feel limiting, the fact is, it doesn’t limit God’s ability. I was reminded of that when I read this,  For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)

How do you grow?

Stay rooted. Let hard seasons grow you, not uproot you.
Plant your roots in Christ and let him be the foundation for your life. Be strong in your faith, just as you were taught. And be grateful.” Colossians 2:7
Stay hydrated. Water the ground you are in and stay thirsty.
I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.” I Corinthians 3:7-8
Stay consistent. Consistency guarantees growth.  
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

“The kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed that a man took and sowed in his field. It is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown it is larger than all the garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.” Matthew 13:31-32

Jessica Pisani

Jessica currently resides in Orange County, CA, where she is on the Propel creative team. She’s enjoyed life's adventures and has traveled extensively, is an avid art enthusiast, and cares deeply about french fries and coconut milk ice cream. To see more snippets of her world, follow Jessica on Instagram.  

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